He's jammin' down the pedal like he's never comin' back.

Taking the Purity Test is a lot like watching a full-length porn movie all the way to the credits. It's long, redundant, occasionally titillating, always boring, and almost never worth it. Nevertheless, I've taken it enough times to qualify for a "yes" answer to Question 492. The payoff, such as it is, is the time-released thrill of seeing how much lower your score has dipped since the last time.

I first took the Purity Test in 1993, my freshman year at Bradley U. My score was in the low 80s. Today, some twelve years later, happily married with a baby and a steady job, my score rests at a very respectable 45.8% pure.

Thanks to Rev Spork for posting his significantly-improved revision of The Purity Test.