Location: St. Vincent & Grenadines

You were driving home in the dark on one glass-slippered heel, window sliced open and bathing in the snowliquor of the night air. We heard you singing, and couldn't bear to wake you.

09 September 2005

He's jammin' down the pedal like he's never comin' back.

Taking the Purity Test is a lot like watching a full-length porn movie all the way to the credits. It's long, redundant, occasionally titillating, always boring, and almost never worth it. Nevertheless, I've taken it enough times to qualify for a "yes" answer to Question 492. The payoff, such as it is, is the time-released thrill of seeing how much lower your score has dipped since the last time.

I first took the Purity Test in 1993, my freshman year at Bradley U. My score was in the low 80s. Today, some twelve years later, happily married with a baby and a steady job, my score rests at a very respectable 45.8% pure.

Thanks to Rev Spork for posting his significantly-improved revision of The Purity Test.


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