I know this world is killing you.

Hey, coffee-drinkers: do your mouths taste all retro like this all the time? Do your mouths always taste like college? This taste is making me want a cigarette, and a beer in a can, and a bonghit, and a big poster of Elvis Costello and another of Susan B. Anthony, and an asymmetrical haircut, and a romanticized view of the working class, and a secret All My Children addiction that, embarrassingly, actually influences how I schedule classes.

Not for the first or even twentieth time, I am right smack back in twitchy little stalker love with Mimi Smartypants.