Nobody knows the stubble I've seen.

It's been a while since I laid down some blasphemy on all y'all, so here it is, in four parts.

1. With all conceivable respect to gay men and cowboys (not to mention manufacturers of pudding), I defy you not to be amused by Brokeback to the Future.

2. Lisa Carver (née Lisa Suckdog) has a website called Rollerderby that is worth a gander.

3. You will definitely go to Hell, or at least a bowling alley, if you, um, "mess" with the Jesus.

4. And finally: Hagrid molested me.