Location: St. Vincent & Grenadines

You were driving home in the dark on one glass-slippered heel, window sliced open and bathing in the snowliquor of the night air. We heard you singing, and couldn't bear to wake you.

17 March 2006

Come on papa, don't fear the diaper.

There are few things in this world that are more disgusting than poop in a vagina.

That's really all they need to show in "health education" classes in high school. Forget the moralizing. Don't bother with ethical debates. You want to stop teenagers from having sex without birth control? Just show them a video of a toddler's vagina with poop in it.

"You see this? Huh? STILL WANNA FOOL AROUND?!?"

Perhaps only the intensity of disgust that such an image must surely provoke (and no, I have no plans to add a snapshot to the Baby Pictures file) can indicate the intensity of love I feel for my little girl. When I tell you that the joy of being Genevieve's father makes the experience of cleaning up that kind of mess totally acceptable, you may begin to have some inkling of just how besotted I am.

This morning she came up with a new joke. So far she has three. Her first joke was "Papa: bah! Mommy: bah! Jennydog: bah!" and so on. Her second joke was "Sit -- boom!" Both of those jokes make her laugh hysterically, which is enough to make me laugh despite the fact that I don't understand what makes them funny. But her third joke is the best. This morning, she began saying "Baffle me! Baffle me! BAFFLE ME!!!" and laughing so hard she fell over.

My daughter is a genius. Baffling, to be sure, as most geniuses are. She enjoyed the corned beef and potatoes we ate for dinner tonight, enjoyed shouting "ICKY BEER!" and pointing at my Guinness, enjoyed the look on my face when I opened her diaper later on, enjoyed her bath, enjoyed running around naked afterward, enjoyed having lotion rubbed on her "Leegs! Belly! Back!", enjoyed putting on her pajama pants by herself, enjoyed counting to twelve on her fingers (I told you she was a genius), enjoyed demanding boobah from you-know-who and smirking over her shoulder as I left the room. So much joy. So much wild intellect.

Happy SPD. Erin . . . seriously, dude, just go bragh or something.


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